list of things that i dont like - about my new life as a single mom

1. nobody to ask me how my day was.
2. nobody to strach the itch I can't reach, or crack my back
3. all the household chores are mine and mine alone
4. if I need 10 minutes to myself, I have no one to watch the kids
5. no more "you cook, I will clean" I get to do both
6. no one to snuggle with when it's cold outside
7. no converstations about current events or our favorite shows
8. no one to fight over the remote with
9. no one to help me look for my phone when I misplaced it
10. family dinners seem strange with just me and the kids
11. even though it's 2009 - there is still a sense of shame
12. not sure what to do about my last name
13. 'the first time I heard the 2yr old say "mommy's house" ' was horrible
14. not looking forward to the holidays.... halloween, thanksgiving, christmas, new years.
15. not working together towards something
16. men are afraid of me
17. I'm afraid of men
18. I'm tired of pretending that everything is okay
19. It's exhausting to live up to the "strength" that people think I have
20. I dont feel like I belong anywhere

list of things I dont miss about you

using the doorknob, or headboard as a towel rack
the way you dont do dishes
that you lose everything
that you dont look for things
that you dont remember anything
sports
your obsession with face book
your history
chew and spit cup
your other vices
fantasy football
the space channel
telling me "SIT UP" or "CORE"
not getting up with the kids
staring at the back of your head
not listening
eye rolling
criticism
when in public you walk in front of me
disrespect
lies
affairs
the anxiety you caused
not opening my door
the way you handle your finances
selfish
conceited
your friends
your constant need to debate things

my new list..... =) cuz it's been awhile.

antagonistic: acting in opposing mutually hostile and unfriendly

nonverbal communication: messages expressed by other than linguistic means.

psuedo listeining: an imitation of true listening in wich the receivers mind it elsewhere

empathy: the ability to project oneself into another persons point of view, so as to eperience the others thoughts and feelings

selective listiening: a listening style in which the receiver responds responds only to messages
that interest him or her

emotive language: language that conveys the senders attitude rather than simply offers on objective description

ambushing: a style in whichin which the reciever listens carefully in order to gather information to use in an attack on the speaker

ampathy: a defense mechanism in which a person avoids admitting emotional pain by pretending
not to care about an event

trust: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something

interdependence: however antagonisticthey might feel, the parties in conflict are usually dependent on each other. the welfare and satisfaction of one depend on the actions of another.

controlling communication: messages in which the sender tries to impose some sort of outcome on the receiver, usually resulting in a defensice reaction.

controlling communication: messages in which the sender tries to impose some sort of outcome on the receiver, usually resulting in a defensice reaction.

negotiastion: a process in which wo or more parties discuss specific proposals in order to find a mutually acceptable agreement.

passive aggression: an indirect expression of aggression, delivered in a way that allows the sender to maintain a facade of kindness.

verbal abuse: a disconfirming response intended to cause psychological pain to another.

moving - med-less

What's up?
So I'm outta my meds, the ones that help me stay focused and calm. Which timewise is NOT good.... As we are moving. Yeap, I'm in unstructured panic!!!! WooHoo. Feel so bad for those physically around me. And with that here is my imediate list:
Pack Pans
Pack Coats
Pack nightStands
Roll up rug
Pack up plastic kitchen stuff
Fold laudry in basket
Fold load in Dyer
Transfer load from w to d
And put new load into D
Get snacks ready for kids
Get water set up at new place
Cancel ALL stuff at old place
Get #1 bDay part booked and invites out before wednesday (last day of school)
Get home baked cookies to old neighbors - and to new neighbors
Call engagement client to confirm appt on sat. (Next sat)
Change Dr appt
Get smog
Buy book for summer college class

Omg!
AND HusbanD wants me to get a part time job!!!!

I think that the font options that the "blog" gives me SUCK.

I personally like "kristen font" or Tacoma

not this COURIER

or Georgia

no way for Lucida

Times is TOOO square

Trebuchet is - squareR than times

Verdana - WHATEEVER

and webdings is STUBIDP


does anyone know how I can change my FONT on blog spot to something cool?

mothers day wish list

so here is my mothers day gift wish list - in really no particular order

Mani - Pedi
Epson p400 (its photo storage hard drive)
Lens Babie
New Laptop
Tanning pass
New shoes (hot cute nonMom shoes)
New unmentionables
New clothes
New windshield
New car alarm remote
Vaca with husband only
A free Baby sitter
A house keeper
iTunes
Tiffany's (something from there)
Breakfast in bed
New band to go with my wedding ring
Elements 7.0

my medicated list =)

okay.... so this overwhelmed
mommy
wife
laundry do-er
taxi to b-ball and karate
house keeper
grocery shopper
3 square meals a day and 2 snacks planner
dog trainer
hampster keeper
tudor
pre-pre nursing student
part time photographer
weight manager
calorie counter
part time speech thearpist
appointment scheduler
family accountant
play date maker and keeper's
list of things that I need to do....

and am asking AUNT ALICE to help me prioritize. =)


1. organized taxes
2. find tax person
3. get extension for taxes
4. prepare class presentation for wednesday April 8th
5. out line for essay #4 comparing two books due on April 22
6. pick topic and do 1st draft for essay #4 due on April 29
7. write essay outline for ...... 4 essays in sylibus
8. check book - balance crystal, and joint
9. pay bills our of jason
10. watch Milk for possible topic on essay #4
11. look into loan modification
12. call mortgage company
13. upload and edit wedding pictures from March 28th
14. call Melinda to schedule maternity portraits
15. call Marylu to schedule maternity portraits
16. pay Lacey from assisting on wedding on March 28th
17. get Brian's shoe done.
18. talk to jason about andrea's bday present
19. bday gifts for niece and nephew on april 21st and 22nd - by 13th.
20. go to bank to make deposit
21. go to gymboree to schedule classes with Ryder.
22. find preschool program for easter. (call Marla)
23. find summer program for Donovan (ask Dorothy)
24. make picture appt with Elisserys
25. order business cards from Moo.com - find PICS
26. talk to michelle and move website to bludomain.com
27. GET LAP TOP CUZ our computer SUCKS. maybe 3ram and 320gb (need for home and school)
28. register for summer class. Speech 128 =)

should be doing

So, I'm laying on the phone playing with my blackberry and checking twitter, facebook and now my blog when there are many many MANY other productive things that I should be doing, such as:

Dishes
Laundry
Essay that is 2 weeks late
Reading assigned book
Editing pics
Paying bills
Balance check book
Knit slippers for Amy
Email teacher
Finish silpada & Scentsy order

Hmmmmm
Sounds like way to much to do. I don't even no where I would start.

things i want to improve

1 my temper
2 time management
3 organization
4 follow through
5 my photography business
6 my writing
7 stay on a laundry schedule
8 relationships with friends
9 the way I tAlk to Jason
10 to not take it personal

my NEW YEAR RESOLUTION list

1 work out more
2 eat less
3 smile more
4 'snap' less
5 read more
6 watch tv less
7 drink more water
8 drink only water
9 be greatful more
10 complain less

If anything I'm going to be present in the moment. Will not play until my chores are done and do everything in moderation. And smile - I'm going to smile. What do I really have to complain about? Some people have things a lot worse, I certainly know that I have had my share of struggles. So, I will make an effort to hold my head high and smile. Yes Jason - that includes standing up straight.

I guess I have nothing to say or nothing to list.
This is more than likely the calm before the storm.... as I start school in 7 days.